021.

LORD, give us what we need.


today is the ONE YEAR mark of singleness.
how am i feeling, doing, seeking?
well, all i know is that experience has bought me to a place of growth and blossoming:
everything from bliss to broken to baffled to blessed.


Honestly, this year has come and gone quicker and less painfully than i'd imagined.
without "him", i felt worthless, lost, and i thought i would never be able to stand back on my feet again.
BUT here i am, i'm doing quite fine.



happier, wholer, stronger.
challenged, beautiful, taking ahold of my life.



the LORD does give us what we need.
i needed to be broken to be shown my flaws.



today, i took the time to reflect how lucky i am, boyfriend or no boyfriend.




I AM LOVED.
most of all, i have a perfect creator who loves me regardless of what i make of myself-
everyday, yes everyday, he makes me new.




my family, oh gosh, what a stronghold, my refuge.



my dad, david can always seem to make me laugh and make me see a side of thing i would never have considered.
it is him that i know loves me wholeheartedly no matter what i did in the past.
he makes me believe i have potential, that i am smart, and that i am doing the right thing.



my mama, heather has this fire about her.
she puts a passion in me to create and learn constantly.
i want to be like her because she is a well balanced humorous, adventurous, motherly patchwork of gregarious inspiration.



my sibs, jacob, annie-b, and little josiah love me unconditionally and think i'm cooler than i am.
it ALWAYS makes my day to chat with them and someday we will have kids of our own (crazy i know!).
i pray that we will stay bonded and raise our families to be connected as family should be.



jacob is seriously the coolest kid/teen/boy-man. he is growing so fast it's freaky!
remember that no matter what it's important to stay immersed in God's Word and family because it's hard to make up for lost time.



annie-b, you my dear are such a talented dancer and i wish i could see you perform!
remember to be encouraging because i understand how annoying boys can be, :).
read as many books as you can because a good book makes for a better adventure.



josiah, little brother, you are my shining boy, your smile and constant love is something i will always cherish.
remember to help mom and dad and jacob and annabelle- tell them jokes to make them laugh and give hugs, i miss those.



thank you, i am so blessed to be surrounded, supported, and loved by a wonderful family. i miss you more than words could express.

since march 9, 2008 i have:

(1)gotten out my wisdom teeth.
oh being home those first few weeks was exhausting and intense.
the emotion was so fresh that i literally did not know what to do with myself.
at least getting my wise teeth out knocked me out.
and i got to pack up all my crap, spend time with the fam, and see hannahlynn.

(2)supervised 4's and 5's program at Cannon Beach Christian Conference Center

one of the most rewarding and difficult tasks.
i learned alot about myself and relationships.
being a supervisor was ten times harder and worthwhile than i would've guessed.
somedays were definitely harder than others, but i would never take anything back.
those kids and amanda, taylor, and lacey made my summer perfect.

(3)experienced CB in more ways than i can count
where to even begin??
stand out memories:
the many walk-talks with tyler.
getting quarantined and bella with taylor after we got out.
making beds with wayne.
deathrace, late beach walk-talks, and exploring CB with robbie.
heart to hearts with bethany.
awkwardness with poca, crash, and panda.
$5 shoes from betsy and kristen.
dragonfire and books with liz.
veggie tales EVERY sunday with crash.
crocheting with david and sarah.
trenton's bear hugs.
recording the "CB".
sleepy monk with linnea.
undercover mission with amanda.
being "engaged" to wayne.
skimboarding for the first time with lora, carly, and bethany.
folding doug's laundry with jackie.
housekeeping, towel change and using silly voices with brittany.
leah j. driving me to the airport.
lacey and brandon picking me up from the airport and getting lost.
the big swing.
taylor shoving leaves in my hair for fun, yes?
performing to hsm get your head in the game.
milly and krista's bible study.
tyler jumping off the bridge.
taylor falling into the fire.
walking with bri on the beach in the beginnings of summer.
anthony, shy little cute anthony.
the happening with jon, lora, and tyler.
dear david/ tim and eric/ beaver bounce incorpated into the beaver song.
hermie the wormie ate my _____________.
the family bonding when our brothers and sisters got swept out and rescued.
and need i name more???

experiencing CB taught me it is enough to be myself.
around these people i could be real and i could never thank the LORD enough for letting me know and grow this way.
thank you each whether mentioned or not for the time, love, and hope you have shown me.
it impacts me still.

(4)family reunion in kansas
getting to see my extended family and seeing where my mom-mom grew up was a really great experience.
some highlights: my aunt mary getting married to luke, meeting my cousin TONY, and being surrounded by my grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and my immediate family.

(5)moved/live in beebe 3
sometimes i love it, sometimes i don't, but at fox, i do feel at home.
it's a place i can be, i can struggle and belong.

(6)gained and lost friends

i'm learning to work through things day by day and it's a blessing to see how much
i have grown just this past year.

(7)smiled, changed, loved.

well... life is plugging along.

somedays are better, but today was fine indeed.

All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers and the flower falls,
but the word of the Lord remains forever.
-1 Peter 1:24