four.

(sinking feeling in my skin)

it's always interesting to find something i wrote awhile ago.
i suppose a wee bit of context would be nice.
so here it goes: this was written eight days before a breakup.
funny now because i didn't see it coming, but my writing always shows exactly how i feel.
p.s. i've never shared this with anyone. enjoy.

dated: march 1, 2008

in an instant

instantaneous:

in an instant, everything can change
mend, break, or split in two halves.

it's curious to think how one comes to that
final breaking point.

till they've had enough
to shit with trying
to ponder the overwhelming question:
what's the point?
can i do this alone?

chew on it awhile,
gaze in a daze with half a smile
say you're fine, but in awhile
you'll be right back,
right back to square one.

instantaneous are my memories of you
the fondness of the sun on my shoulders
and sitting side by side by side with you
how come time doesn't heal these
wounds? the overwhelming tendency
to run back to you, but you
don't love me anymore.
you said, you talked of always...

what went wrong?
was it me? was it you?
or inflexible fate...
no matter how much i lie to
myself i'm in love with you.